Snails, Glorious Snails!

I haven’t worked in the library long enough to put together a top ten list of reference questions. The leader in my top two list, however, went something like this: if a snail mated with a slug would the babies have shells or not? Needless to say, snails have been on my mind since being asked about the stealthy mollusk.

Regarding snails the newspaper world points to one of two options - it’s basically eat or be eaten. ProQuest Newspapers shows me one hundred and twelve thousand, two hundred and three articles on either cooking the little slime nuggets, or how to stop said slime nuggets from devouring any gardening endeavors. The cleverest of journalists have managed to combine both topics with poignant snail combat tips. And butter.

I did find one theatre review. Though I don’t think I will skip Hamlet in favor of Feast of Snails. I’m all for new and different but the obscure Icelandic play revolves around a wealthy Reykjavik tycoon, and I think the lowly mollusk gets eaten in the end. Then again maybe the tycoon hold up a hollowed shell in the palm oh his hand and also declares, “alas, poor Yorick!”

I’m sure ProQuest is a serious research tool but I couldn’t help but laugh at the headlines. I had to share some here. (Read out loud in various announcer voices for full dramatic effect. Also picture a montage of killer snail graphics over your right shoulder.)

“Federal Agents on Trail of Fugitive Giant Snails – Buffalo News

“Snails are like tanks – slow yet difficult to destroy.”  Houston Chronicle

“For Snails, the Slimelight is Fleeting” – Washington Post

“Drown those Snails with Beer” – The New Straights Times (Kuala Lampur)

“Globetrotting Snails Criss-Crossed Oceans by Hitching a Ride on Birds” – The Daily Telegraph London

“Giant Alien Snails attack Miami, Though They’re Not in Much of a Rush – Wall Street Journal

“Slugging it Out With Snails” – San Francisco Chronicle

“Pupils say Shell-o to Snails” – South Wales Echo, New South Wales

“Stand Back! The Snails are Running!” – Bangor Daily News

I may have spent too much time in the children’s room this week as all those headlines seem like grand ideas for new books. Perhaps a whole story hour on the delightful creatures!

From reading other MARVELousERs’ blogs(KIDSRSU2 your headers are hilarious) I see that I am not the only one who couldn’t get the alert feature to function. I understand the gist of the service though as I have used Google alerts in the past. Certainly a helpful tool in ongoing research though I think the general database is helpful on its own. ProQuest does a great job of allowing the user to filter results by year, source type, location, language etc.

FYI the best way to get rid of a garden snail is to get a turtle. The best way to get rid of a turtle is to get a raccoon. The best way to…and pretty soon you are singing an Elton John song from a lion musical while building an ark and hoping for rain.

If you’re still wondering about the snail’s mating habits The National Post has a great piece on how “Snails May Have been the Original Cupid”. Beware though; it’s not for the faint of heart.

Happy Reading & Cheers!